the REALLY REALLY wrong side of the bed

OK, please ignore everything I said last night, at least after the definition of romance. I’ve been reviewing our conversation and I can hardly believe I said all that stuff, most of which I didn’t even believe. I was both hung over and inebriated, which makes a terrible combo. And in that state I’m prone to saying stupid things. God! I’m so angry at myself!! Why didn’t you stop me? I came out all wrong. Where to begin? Me having an agenda? At some point in my life I think I was voted “Least likely to adhere to an agenda”! I’m probably the most unpredictable person I know! Spreadsheets and comparisons between x-lovers? That’s not at all what I meant. I did kind of think that we got on better together than I did with most of my exes, but I only realized that over the past few days. I wasn’t like holding you up as a standard whenever I met someone! In fact, before I contacted you, I hadn’t thought about you in years! That might be cruel to say, but heck! It’s the truth! I admit that I like both the way you think and the way you look, but that’s as far as it goes.
Your visit and our “re-acquaintance” should be something fun and simple, and if something were to happen between us, it should be completely spontaneous. But now I’ve gone and complicated things as usual. Good clean fun might have just gone out of the window. I’M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity-fuck! Ignore the whole last night. Please. I shouldn’t have been talking in the state I was. And you shouldn’t be encouraging me. Now I’m ashamed of myself. I almost think I shouldn’t talk to you any more until you get here. Fuckin’ vodka mojitos. I just want to kick an old lady in the teeth! GAWD!